In Search of a New Normal

Taking a look back at my blog I realized it is nearly a year since my last entry...

 And what a year it has been...

Ecclesiastes 3: 1- 8 says:

There is a time for everything...
   
        and a season for every activity under the heavens:

              a time to be born and a time to die,
                      a time to plant and a time to uproot,   

                                   a time to kill and a time to heal,
                                           a time to tear down and a time to build,     

                                                           a time to weep and a time to laugh,
            a time to mourn and a time to dance,  

                             a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
                                     a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,     

                                                                         a time to search and a time to give up,
                                              a time to keep and a time to throw away, 

                              a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,   

 a time to love and a time to hate,
                            a time for war and a time for peace.

I think there has been a time for all of that in my life this year. 

I started this blog to have a place to record memories. A place I could go back to in years to come to remember...

For this past year I couldn't blog. The time was not there.  The desire was not there.  The words would not flow....

         I don't need a blog to remember this year... the events of this year are forever etched
                                                   in my heart and mind...


Our family trip of a lifetime.

Turning 40.

Becoming a pastor's wife (no I didn't find a new husband, my husband became a pastor :)

Cheering on with admiration as my husband completed his first half-marathon.

Ending another year of homeschooling.

Watching my mother fight valiantly against breast cancer.
Watching her take her last breath.
Experiencing heartache like never before and beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

Saying goodbye to 2 friends who left the island.

Saying goodbye a month later as another dear friend and mentor moved away. (thankful for Facebook)

Preparing my heart and our home for our fifth child (due in about 10 weeks.)
Being blessed beyond measure as we prepare for this unexpected gift from God.

Being spiritually stretched and broken.
Experiencing mountains, valleys and everything in between.

This year, I have felt defeated,
                           I have doubted,
                                    I have been stubborn,
                                                         I have failed...

but over and over , and over and over...

I've been reminded of God's sovereignty.
                                    His faithfulness.
                                    His goodness.
                                    His mercy
                             and His grace.


So a new page, a new chapter, a new beginning...

I now need this blog to help me move on. 

To help me to stop and appreciate the little things

 I have overlooked in the whirlwind of last year.

To help me pause and reflect on the work 

God is doing in my life and in my family. 

To give me evidence of the bright days 

on those days that the sun is hidden behind the clouds. 

This will be a bittersweet year. 

The first with our new little one...

The first without my mom... 

....by Gods grace I will get through it and prayerfully, 

                                                             this time next year, 

                                                                              as I look back, 

                                                                                           there will be evidences of 

                                                                                                                             our

                                                                                                                             new

                                                                                                                             normal.