For the bad days...

Sometimes I read blogs where it seems like the author never has a bad day.  Life is perfect, their kids are perfect, the are the most crafty (in the arts and crafts sense), most spiritual, there homes are immaculate, and they never lose their cool.    It is so easy for bloggers, myself included, to only document the good times, the crafts that worked, the angelic behaviours of our kids.  Sometimes we live double lives.. the blog world and the real world. 
 
So it was refreshing to read this post a couple days ago... "When Motherhood feels like Misery".  I could completely relate to the young mother who wrote it.  Yes, I am admitting that there are days that I don't want to be a mom.   There are days that I sit and try and figure out how I can run away...seriously I do.   There are days I yell way too much, days that the house is turned upside down and I have no desire to turn it right way up, days that I am so overwhelmed that I can't think straight. 

Have you been there?

Praise God we don't have to stay there... God gives us these tough times so we can learn to trust him.

There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1: 6-7 NLT

 How is God teaching me to get through tough times?
 
I need to remember to stay in the race... This is the mission God has give me... he has blessed me with these kids and given me the role of mom and the task of raising them.  The  Christian life is not a sprint, it is a marathon... a long distance race.  When I am feeling down in the dumps, the one thing my husband always asks is "have you had your quiet time?" and strongly encourages me to do so if I haven't (Husbands... did you get that?  Lead and encourage your wives... I truly appreciate Joe's spiritual leadership).    I don't know about you but for me it is very easy to slack off bible reading and prayer time when I am feeling bad or having a rough time.  I have learned though, that this is the worst thing to do.  Just like marathon running,  if you stop moving, it is hard to get going again.   Even when it feels like you are just going through the motions, go through the motions!

It was during one of these"going-through-the-motions-times"  recently that God spoke to me through His word.  I was having a bad week.. one of those "how-can-I-escape" weeks.  I felt depleted... I knew that I was doing what God wanted me to but I was not really enjoying where he had me.  

 I was studying  Psalm 51 and I came across verse 12.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 Sometimes I try to fix how I am feeling but this verse was reminding me to ask God to restore and sustain. He provides a willing spirit to sustain me.  I was meditating on this for a while and then I read on to the next verse.  King David, the psalmist wasn't asking for the restoration of joy and to be sustained by God only for his own personal satisfaction... read it...

THEN I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.

 
As I meditated on this I changed verse 13 to say this:

Then I will teach my kids your ways so that my kids will turn to you. (they are transgressors and sinners that need to be turned to God right?!) 

This was such a reminder to me of why I am doing what I am doing.. to teach my kids they ways of God so that they will turn to him.  If I keep that as my focus instead of how hard it is, I can keep going.

In addition to staying in God's word, trusting him and focusing on why I am doing what I am doing, I have learned some other ways to get through those tough motherhood days and weeks:

Know when to take a break.  Some days when things are not going well, I call it quits, I put on a dvd for the kids and give myself a time out.

Examine your  schedule.   If you are feeling frazzled, chances are you are doing too much.  I tend to have overly high expectations of what can get done in a day.  We have to learn how to manage our expectations.   Someone once told me "There are a lot of things that are good to do but not everything is BEST for you and your family."  Get in the habit of weeding out the things that are only good and ask God to help you determine what is best.

Don't compare yourself to anyone.  God has made you who you are and has a specific will for you.  We all have a different calling, different gifts, different strengths and weaknesses...and that is okay! 

Have a support system and know when to ask for and accept help.  We want to see ourselves as superwomen and try and do it all ourselves.  Society and culture have taught us that strength is in independence... I can do it by myself, I don't need anyone. We see it as a flaw to ask for help or accept it when offered. It is not strength, it is pride.  Whether it is calling a prayer partner to pray for you or asking someone to watch the kids for an hour or two so you can get away or saying yes when someone comes to visit and offers to wash your dishes... learn how to ask for and accept help.  

Motherhood is the toughest job I have ever had, it is a high calling and thankfully one I don't have to do alone and neither do you.  If you are frazzled, stressed out, not enjoying the journey call on God to restore and sustain your joy.  He is faithful to answer.


 Be blessed,
 

How Do you Do it? Plan your meals

"What's for dinner?"

I have a love/ hate relationship with that question.  I love it when I have an answer and I hate it when I don't! I especially hate it when it is being asked in a tired, whiny voice after a long, busy day... and I don't have an answer!

I learned a while ago the value of having a meal plan but what that plan looks like has evolved (and is still evolving) through the many changes of our family. I will explain what I am currently doing striving to do but before that I want to share some things I have learned about meal planning (and any form of organizing for that matter).

1. Each family is unique so another family's meal plan or system of planning, while inspiring, may not work for your family and it may even be a source of frustration. There are lots of great meal planning websites and  blog posts about meal planning both free and paid.  They may promise to make your life easier and have great suggestions but you have to know what will work for you.   If you are just starting out, look for a plan that you like, implement it and then tweak it to meet your needs.  Don't abandon something that is working just because you come across someone else who does it differently.

2. Your meal plan doesn't have to look pretty.  Maybe this isn't an issue for you, but for me I would spend way too much time creating charts and lists and making them pretty,  use them for a week and then find something else that seemed better (see point one :)  Now I focus on functionality first and then if there is time I make it pretty.

3. Any plan you choose takes discipline to follow.  I am still learning this one!

So here is what works for me right now:

Step 1
I have a meal planning binder (sorry no pictures here of a pretty, organized binder :)

In the binder there is:

• a list of meals that our family likes.  I asked everyone to tell me what they like and I created this master list that is my "go to" list. 
• a calendar
• scrap paper
• recipes 

Step 2
Before grocery shopping I gather my binder and computer (I use iCal for my schedule).  I look at the schedule for the upcoming week and figure out what meals we will be having (if I have time I plan two to three weeks at a time).  I use my "go to" recipes for the most part  but if I have time I scan the internet for interesting recipes.  I have started using Pinterest and I have a recipe board to make it easier to collect recipes I want to try.

Step 3
I have a meal calendar in iCal where I plop in the meals for the week.  I have dinner as a recurring event and just update the entry on each day.  I have a email reminder set so I get an email each evening telling me what is for dinner the next day.  This helps me to remember if there is anything that takes extra preparation (i.e. crock pot, defrost meat etc.)

Step 4
I take out all the recipes in the binder that I intend to use for the week and print out any new recipes and then put them in order in the front of the binder.

Step 5
I use these recipes to make my grocery list.

Once I have shopped I am always one step away from dinner!

When it is time to make dinner, I pull out the recipe and put it in the front cover of the binder (I have a clear view binder)  This keeps the recipe clean while I cook. When I am done the recipe gets filed back in the recipe section of the binder.  If it is a new recipe I only keep it if it gets at least 4 thumbs up (out of 6 possible votes).

Sometimes the week doesn't go as planned. With this format, I can always switch things around if I need to.

How do you tackle dinner?  Any tips you want to share?

This is part 2 in the series How do you do it? 
You can read the previous posts here:
Intro post
Part 1

How Do You Do It? Start off Strong

This is the first post in a series entitled "How Do You Do It?" You can read the introduction here.

I decide to start out talking about having a morning routine because  for me it is the glue that holds the whole day together.  If the morning does not start out right, I struggle for the rest of the day.

Before I tell you what I do,  I must remind you that this is a work in progress for me.  The intention of this series is to encourage, not to discourage.  I am not perfect, I still have a lot of growing to do, but what I am highlighting is what works WHEN I put it in place!  Perhaps sharing it here will also add a level of accountability for me!

1. Get Up Before the Kids- I am NOT a morning person, I never have been but I am growing into one.    I can lie in bed until I hear the kids and then jump up, get dressed and organized and try and meet their needs all at the same time or I can get up an hour or two before them, take care of myself and then be ready for them when they get up.  The second scenario works out better for all of us.  On the mornings I am up before the kids I am less frazzled, more patient and much more organized.   We also have a rule that the kids are not to come out of their room until 7am. 

Getting up at 5:30 is not easy for me.  Here are some ways I have been intentional about it:

• Accountability- One resource that has been helpful is Inspired to Action a website dedicated to practically helping moms develop the habits and skills they need to effectively manage their homes and raise children who are prepared to change the world.  Through Inspired to Action's Maximise Your Morning Challenge, I am part of a Twitter accountability group (#HelloMornings) where I tweet each morning to let my group know that I am up.  Women all over the world are tweeting to their groups and getting up to maximise their mornings.  In addition, my husband is a great encouragement, helping me to fight for this time.
• Getting up early starts the night before- I can't go to bed at midnight consistently and expect to be up and functioning the next day.  I plan to go to bed early and I think through what my morning will look like before I go to sleep so that I am ready for the morning. (however as I type this it is 1:30am... I told you, this is a work in progress :)

So what do I do once I am up??

2. First Things First-   The most important part of my day is the time I spend with God.  In the past I would go all day with the intention of having my Quiet time in the evening, just before bed.  I would fall into bed exhausted and quickly offer a prayer or spend 3 minutes reading a devotional book and that was my spiritual fill of the day.  God longs for more than that from us.  We were made to have a relationship with Him, in fact, His is the most important relationship we should have!  Doesn't it make sense then to begin the day in his presence?

What does my time with the Lord look like?  Each day can be different but generally I spend time listening to worship music, praying and  reading the Bible.  I am currently working through the book of Philippians using this plan.

3. Have a Plan- even once I am up, I am not fully awake so having a plan/ routine helps.  I can function on autopilot until I am fully awake.  Know what is for breakfast.  Start a load of laundry.  Put the dishes away from last night.  Get dressed.  Check emails. Having a routine or a rhythm in the morning helps with the flow of the day.


So there you have it!  I still need to build in a consistent exercise routine... that is one of my next goals!

Start strong... get up, get praying, get moving!!  Then you will have what you need to deal with the rest of the day. 

What does your morning look like?  Do you have any tips for me? Leave me  a comment below!

Series Intro: How Do You Do it?

"So how do you do it?"

"I don't know how you do it!"

I hear those words so often as a mom of four little ones.   I know those words are well intentioned and honest but what exactly is the "it" they are referring to?   I often think "Can't they see how frazzled I am?!"  So many times I don't feel like I am doing "it" well. Oftentimes I feel like I am operating at or just above survival mode.  I tend to dwell more on my weaknesses than strengths.  I minimize the things I do well and magnify my failures.  Do you do that?  God has been speaking to me about changing my thinking.

I have decided to write a series on "How I do it?"  What works for me,  how I manage 4 kids and all the other things that come along with that.  This is NOT to say I have it all figured out or that I am an expert in any of this.  As I remind my kids, I am still learning, I have only been a mom for 7 years!!  But what I do want to do is be intentional and this will help me to recognize the areas where I am being intentional and where there are gaps that need to be filled in.  Hopefully it will also encourage and even inspire someone else along their own journey.

As I write, I only have a loose plan as to where this series will go.  I have a few specific topics rolling around in my mind but hopefully that list will grow!  If you have any questions be sure to leave them in the comments section below or email me (email link is in the side bar).  

Thanks for following along on this journey!

   My life is an adventure!