The Birth of Marcus: Our Faith Journey- Part Two

Read Part 1 The Dream here

An Impossible Dream?

...Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.(Matt 7:7)

We found out we were expecting baby #4 in October and I went to see my OB in late November. I didn't mention to her that I thought I should have this baby vaginally... what was the point, she would never go for it. In my mind, the only way this vaginal birth would happen was if the baby was early and my labour was very quick.. you know, one of those "I had the baby in the car on the way to the hospital" kind of births. My OB scheduled my c-sec for June 21st... 8 days before my due date. I left that first appointment feeling like I was facing a huge mountain but I kept reminding myself that God was in control. I was asking God for it to happen but looking back, I was so limiting God and not trusting that he could do the impossible. The impossible in my mind being having the birth I wanted with the full support of my OB and the hospital staff. Instead of trusting God to be in control, I tried to figure out how it would work and then praying that it would happen that way. So my prayer as I left was "God please help me to go in to labour before June 21st."

I was going to learn so much on this journey...

My OB was on maternity leave for part of my pregnancy and in her absence she had another OB covering for her. This OB happened to be the sister of my best friend! Having known her since we were teens, I felt comfortable enough sharing with her my desire to have a vaginal birth. Of course her first response was exactly what I expected..."No one is going to let you have a vaginal birth after 3 c-sections". I had been researching VBACs (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) and more specifically VBA3C's. I told her I knew what the risks were. I asked some questions, but most importantly I shared from my heart that I felt that this was something God had placed in my heart and that if it was of him, He could do the impossible. I left there feeling that although she was not in agreement, she could see my heart and understood where the desire was coming from. It wasn't her decision to make though as my OB would be back from maternity leave a couple months before my due date. I continued to pray that I would go in to labour before June 21st.

At my next appointment the nurse informed me that my c-section date needed to be changed because the 21st was a public holiday. I saw this as a major door being opened because I was able to have it rescheduled for June 28th... the day before my due date... giving me more time to go into labour and thus a better chance of having a vaginal birth.

At that point I decided to call a doula that I knew... a Christian... I wanted to talk to someone who would understand from a spiritual perspective where I was coming from, but also who would give me good advice about whether pursuing this was a good idea or not. Her response was much like my friend the OB... that it was highly unlikely that I would be allowed to do that... she herself wasn't sure how she felt about it but she did tell me that she would pray about this for me, that God would give me wisdom. I was a bit discouraged after talking to her but I continued to bring it before the Lord.

Around the same time a new father at our church was telling the church one Sunday morning about the miracle of his daughter's birth... the doctors said that his wife would not be able to conceive. He said that after he had been praying and begging the Lord for a child for months, he felt the Lord say to him , "Stop begging me and believe that I will do this." That really struck me and gave me a new perspective in prayer. I started thanking God for how he was going to answer my prayer. I had my days that I doubted and got discouraged but I never stopped praying and thanking God that his will would be done.

Some time went by and it seemed that God was silent on the matter... my OB was not back yet so I could not discuss it with her.. I continued to research and read about other successful vba3cs and I started to feel myself getting obsessed with the subject. I prayed for God to give me enough peace to let go and leave it in his hands. After a few weeks a lady I knew stopped by to bring an invitation for her son's birthday party. We got to chatting about kids and my pregnancy and I found myself telling her about my dream and the journey I was on to have this baby vaginally but that it seemed that I was up against a huge mountain. Without hesitating she asked if she could pray for me.. right then and there... she laid her hands on my head and prayed with such strength and authority... I was so encouraged by the time she left my house.

The very NEXT day I got a call from the doula I had spoken to previously. She was calling to tell me that she would be emailing me the link to an article that had just been published in the BJOG: An International Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology. It was a commentary on new research that was soon to be published and was titled " Do we need to revisit VBAC guidelines for women with three or more prior caesareans? "

so what did the article say??

“These data suggest that women with three or more prior caesareans who attempt VBAC have similar rates of success and risk for maternal morbidity as those with one or two prior caesareans, and along with other publications, suggest that perhaps it is time to revisit the current recommendations for VBAC attempts for women with more than one prior caesarean”.

“Many have proposed a ‘conservative’ approach to VBAC attempts, which we agree is prudent. But our evidence does not suggest that a conservative approach, which we interpret as one that aims to reduce morbidity - and specifically the risk of uterine rupture - is necessarily achieved by allowing VBAC attempts only in women with one prior caesarean. Given appropriate patient selection, VBAC following two or even three previous caesareans in certain cases may be reasonably safe.”

Talk about doors being opened! The doula was encouraged by this as well and told me that if I could get my OB to agree to let me do this she wanted to be my doula... she could see God's hand at work.

I was so encouraged, but I knew I still faced a major hurdle... my OB would be back from maternity in a few weeks and I had to prepare myself to talk to her... I still couldn't imagine that she would agree but I was convinced that God was going to continue to open doors.

Stay tuned for Part 3... Believing the Dream.





Please note that the purpose of me sharing my story is to encourage others to trust God in seemingly impossible situations. Having a VBA3C did involve some risk and I am in no way encouraging anyone to go against the advice of medical personnel. This was a personal decision and one that I wanted to make with the support of my OB... God made that possible. If you are desiring a VBAC after 2 or more c-sections, my advice would be to become fully informed of the risks, educate yourself, openly communicate with your OB or midwife and seek the face of God, being open to the dierction he leads you. Feel free to email me at rusheika at gmail dot com if you want to talk to me further about my preparation for a VBA3C .

The Birth of Marcus: Our Faith Journey- Part One

The Dream

... but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. (Psalm 66:19)

This journey began six and a half years ago... November 2003. The day Micaiah our first born entered the world. I had a long labour but never fully dilated. After being at 9 cms for several hours, the decision was made to deliver via c-section. I hadn't considered that I wouldn't be able to deliver vaginally but I was thankful for a healthy baby. 21 months later I was in labour again. I wanted to attempt a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) but when I got to the hospital and was told that I was about 1/2cm dilated, I was discouraged and opted for Eli to be born via c-section. I was a little disappointed, but was again happy to have a happy healthy baby boy. A year later when I became pregnant with Eden, I didn't think I had a choice so a c-section was scheduled and again the result was a healthy baby. I was at peace with the fact that I would never experience a vaginal birth...

or would I?

We hadn't really been planning a fourth child... but I see each child as a blessing from God. Early in my pregnancy I had a dream that this baby was born vaginally... I woke up feeling like it was so real... but that was crazy, was it safe to have a vaginal birth after 3 c-sections? I shoved the thought out of my mind knowing it was crazy to entertain such a thing. BUT the feeling would not go away... I was prompted to pray. I prayed that God would take this desire away from me... I did not regret having the c-sections. After a few initial thoughts of failure after the first two, I had peace that we had done the best thing for me and for our children. I did not want to start having feelings of inadequacy and to desire something that was not all possible. The feelings did not go away and I became convinced that God had placed this desire in my heart. My prayer became "God if this is not of you, please take this desire away from me."

I decided to tell JDF how I was feeling and asked him to pray with me. I had his full support to explore this and he also became convinced that this is something that God was asking us to do.

The next few months became a faith journey for us... I saw God's hand work in ways that I never had before...

Read Part 2 An Impossible Dream?

Introducing Marcus

Marcus Samuel was born on Sunday, June 27 at 8:01 am

He weighed 7lb 2oz and was 18inches long.

We are thankful to God for his faithfulness and this precious gift. We adjusting to life as a family of 6. Stay tuned for more about the birth of Marcus and our summer adventures.

Almost done! The race is on!!

This week we begin our final scheduled week of school. There is however a race between the last day of school and when the baby will actually make an appearance... as I type this I am wishing to wake up tomorrow morning in labour! I am 8 days from my due date so we will see!

Before that happens I wanted to briefly reflect on our year... We made it and we are all still alive :) Some days I didn't know if I was coming or going, other days I felt like a homeschooling pro.. we had ups and downs but we have all learned and grown. Mostly I learned that this role of a homeschooling mom takes perseverance, commitment, prayer, support from others and unconditional love for my children. It is not an easy road and some days I'll admit I HATED my job but there were those moments that made it all worth it.

We will continue to work on some things during the summer. I don't want them to completely forget about what they have learned both academically and discipline/ structure wise. We have not completed Kai Kai's math curriculum so my aim is to work on it a couple times a week so we can finish that before we begin his grade 2 work. We will also continue with spelling since he is really enjoying SpellingCity . I will continue LiLi's reading lessons since he is really getting the hang of reading... he is sounding out words and gaining more and more sight words each day. Most of all he wants to read so I don't want to quench that in any way. Buttercup will have lots of time to play and learn how to be a big sister... which shouldn't be too hard. She's been turning any inanimate object into a baby...it is hilarious to watch her carry a broom or a trash can like it is her child (yes she does have dolls but if you have kids you know they go for the everyday objects before the real toys.)

Before I end I'll fill you in on some things we have been doing over the past couple of weeks...

We continued to work on our Ocean Animals Lapbook which we should complete this week. The kids have enjoyed learning about jellyfish, crabs, sharks, whales, wahoo, marlin and other sea life. I am looking forward to doing more lapbooks with them next year as they are very engaging. The boys really got into this one and remember lots of facts about the animals they studied.

We did some cooking science... a cake experiment. We baked 4 mini cakes. The first one we made together, the second one Buttercup made and left out the oil, the third one LiLi made and left out the eggs, and the 4th one KaiKai made and left out the baking powder. We wanted to see what the end result would be for each. All LiLi wanted to know was if we would be able to eat the cake when we were done!

Once baked we cut each in half and observed the texture first and then we tasted each. None of the cakes turned out stellar taste wise- even the one we all made- but as expected that one was the most edible and had great texture. Needless to say LiLi was quite disappointed that it wasn't yummy cake! Buttercup on the other hand didn't seem to care, even asking for more!

The cake without oil was dry, the one with out eggs took much longer to bake and was quite stodgy and the one without baking powder was drier than the one without eggs, but was very heavy.

Of course I couldn't pass on the opportunity for some character building. I explained to the kids that we all have a role to play and when we don't work together we won't get the best result. It was a good object lesson in spite of the disappointment of not being able to eat cake!

LiLi and Butercup have been taking swim lessons this month. We have been spending as much time as possible in the pool which is where we will be for most of the sumer!!

Last week we met up with my friend Mari-Ann and her son for a play date. She is a true inspiration to me with all her ideas she uses to teach her little one (check out her blog it is awesome!). She is the crafting queen and was kind enough to make us a spinny speller which she featured on her blog not long ago (you can find the tutorial there to make one yourself if you so desire.) Thank you so much Mari-Ann!! LiLi is loving his new "toy!"

picture by Mari-Ann

And finally, like most of the world, we have turned our attention to the FIFA World Cup 2010. I decided to structure school around the World cup fever. KaiKai is loving it as he is so much into sports. We started by printing out blank flags for each country playing and KaiKai coloured them in using a coloured printout of flags as a guide. It is amazing how many flags he now recognizes... many more than I do! We have been tracking the scores of each game and will continue to track which teams make it to the next round. We then printed out a world map and began shading in the countries that are participating. This week we will finish the map work and then choose one or two countries to study in a little more depth. It has been exciting to follow along and has been one of those "reasons I love homeschooling".

Hopefully next time I update I will have baby news!

A Look at May

Wow... the month of May flew by... I can't believe I didn't make one post in May. I'll blame it on the 3rd trimester tiredness! We have just over 3 weeks until my due date! I thought I'd better post something before the baby makes an appearance :)

Here is a glimpse of how we spent our May...

JDF & I had a wonderful time away at the beginning of the month. The marriage ministry at our church had a retreat at Historic Banning Mills in Whitesburg, GA! We had 4 days without the kids!! (thanks Granny & Grandpa, Ma & Pa) It was a great time for us to reconnect, spend time with some other couples and just rest. We enjoyed the ministry of Michael and Amy Smalley, walks around the creek each day and some delicious southern food. Some of the other couples enjoyed the thrill of a zipline, horseback riding and kayaking... I will definitely have to go back to enjoy some of those activities!

We attended our first Homeschoolers sports day. It was a great day that brought together many homeschooling families on the island for some fun competition. The kids loved it although Buttercup didn't like being cheered for... in almost all her races she burst into tears just steps from the finish line!

Buttercup turned 3 ...

She wanted a pink bike and to have a princess party... she has really turned into a girly girl!

We had one of her friends over for a princess dress up / tea party. Her grandparents came as well so we had a nice little party. I think she enjoyed being the center of attention for the day!



We did get to some school work in May too!

LiLi made it to Z in our alphabet curriculum so we celebrated with a alphabet cake. I have now started him with reading prep... he loves to try and sound out words and is recognizing many sight words. We are using the Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading and Bob Books and he is catching on very quickly. He also enjoys Starfall which is a great online resource for learning to read.




KaiKai is working on a Ocean Animals lapbook as we finish up our study on creation. They all painted coral reefs and have enjoyed learning about life in and around the sea.
I also stumbled upon a GREAT site for Spelling... Spelling City... it allows you the parent/ teacher to load in your own spelling lists (you can also access other public lists) and then the child can go on and play games and do activities using those words. It also has a Teach me component and Test me component. KaiKai is loving it and I no longer get complaints from him when it is time to use his spelling words to make sentences! We are using the free version for now but in September I think I will purchase the full program ($25 per year) and it will keep track of all his test scores and activities he has worked on.

Buttercup continues to enjoy tot school activities and has also become much more independent in her playtime. This makes life easier as she will entertain her self for long periods of time allowing me to focus my attention on teaching the boys. She also gets one on one time with Mommy and lots of attention from her brothers. I am gearing up for the fall when I will add some more focused activities to her workboxes using the help of a curriculum I downloaded from Confessions of a Homeschooler... if you have a preschooler check it out!



Enjoying the outdoors...




We have started having Wacky Snack Wednesday... I try to find a creative snack (sometimes healthy... sometimes not :) that I can prepare for them or they can help me to prepare. Here they are enjoying making cookie pizzas....




I made sugar cookie dough and they shaped it into little pizzas and baked them. Once they cooled we used vanilla pudding with red food colouring for the sauce and the toppings were crasins, chocolate chips and rainbow sprinkles. They were fun to make and even more fun to eat!


So that was our May. For June we are winding down the school year and I am busy planning for next year. I am going to post about our curriculum choices for next year and how I have developed as a homeschool mom over this year very soon. Other than that stay tuned for baby news in a few weeks!!