2013 Reflections

Tonight I sat and reflected on this past year.  If I could summarize 2013 with one word it would be...

 bittersweet.  

While it was a difficult year in many ways, it was also a year of tremendous blessings. Many lessons were learned, many tears were shed, but there was joy and laughter throughout the year, in the midst of the pain.  God's love and faithfulness was evident every step of the way.

Here is a summary of our 2013. The ups,
                                                           the downs,
                                                                     the in betweens... 

January: Joe resigned from his job at BAMZ after being there for 6 years. God opened the door for full time ministry which we had been praying about for sometime. It's sometimes scary to step out in faith but we knew God was moving us in this direction and looked forward to embarking on this new journey.  

February: We took a monthlong family trip to Sri Lanka which was amazing! I got to celebrate my 40th birthday there. We spent precious time with my mom and dad, making memories, not knowing for sure  how much longer Ma would be with us.  

March: Joe began work at Cornerstone Bible Fellowship. 

April: We announced that Baby Furbert #5 was on the way and we started raising chickens!

May: Joe was ordained and officially took on the role as Associate Pastor at Cornerstone.  Eden turned 6. Joe completed his first half marathon.

June: My mom went home to be with The Lord. She passed on peacefully at home with Joe , my dad and I at her side.  Two days later, Marcus turned 3.

July & August: The summer went by quickly with VBS, Cornerstone kids camp, swimming, fishing, spending time with cousins and celebrating Eli's 8th birthday.

September: we began our 5th year of homeschooling. 

October: Isaiah Jordan made is entrance into the world.  

November: We celebrated Ma's life by planting a cedar tree, our 12th wedding anniversary and Micaiah's 10th birthday.  

December: This month was a blur with Christmas preparation and activities. Some highlights for me were making mince pies which was something my mom did every year, watching the kids perform at Grotto Bay hotel on Christmas Eve, and spending Christmas Day with our parents, being entertained by the kids with a show they put together.  

Definitely a roller coaster of a year but one that God used to strengthen my faith and draw me closer to him.  I don't know what 2014 has in store but I'm looking forward to whatever it brings... This year has taught me that whatever I am faced with, God will see me through :)

Wishing you a Happy New Year!

In Search of a New Normal

Taking a look back at my blog I realized it is nearly a year since my last entry...

 And what a year it has been...

Ecclesiastes 3: 1- 8 says:

There is a time for everything...
   
        and a season for every activity under the heavens:

              a time to be born and a time to die,
                      a time to plant and a time to uproot,   

                                   a time to kill and a time to heal,
                                           a time to tear down and a time to build,     

                                                           a time to weep and a time to laugh,
            a time to mourn and a time to dance,  

                             a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
                                     a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,     

                                                                         a time to search and a time to give up,
                                              a time to keep and a time to throw away, 

                              a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,   

 a time to love and a time to hate,
                            a time for war and a time for peace.

I think there has been a time for all of that in my life this year. 

I started this blog to have a place to record memories. A place I could go back to in years to come to remember...

For this past year I couldn't blog. The time was not there.  The desire was not there.  The words would not flow....

         I don't need a blog to remember this year... the events of this year are forever etched
                                                   in my heart and mind...


Our family trip of a lifetime.

Turning 40.

Becoming a pastor's wife (no I didn't find a new husband, my husband became a pastor :)

Cheering on with admiration as my husband completed his first half-marathon.

Ending another year of homeschooling.

Watching my mother fight valiantly against breast cancer.
Watching her take her last breath.
Experiencing heartache like never before and beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

Saying goodbye to 2 friends who left the island.

Saying goodbye a month later as another dear friend and mentor moved away. (thankful for Facebook)

Preparing my heart and our home for our fifth child (due in about 10 weeks.)
Being blessed beyond measure as we prepare for this unexpected gift from God.

Being spiritually stretched and broken.
Experiencing mountains, valleys and everything in between.

This year, I have felt defeated,
                           I have doubted,
                                    I have been stubborn,
                                                         I have failed...

but over and over , and over and over...

I've been reminded of God's sovereignty.
                                    His faithfulness.
                                    His goodness.
                                    His mercy
                             and His grace.


So a new page, a new chapter, a new beginning...

I now need this blog to help me move on. 

To help me to stop and appreciate the little things

 I have overlooked in the whirlwind of last year.

To help me pause and reflect on the work 

God is doing in my life and in my family. 

To give me evidence of the bright days 

on those days that the sun is hidden behind the clouds. 

This will be a bittersweet year. 

The first with our new little one...

The first without my mom... 

....by Gods grace I will get through it and prayerfully, 

                                                             this time next year, 

                                                                              as I look back, 

                                                                                           there will be evidences of 

                                                                                                                             our

                                                                                                                             new

                                                                                                                             normal.

 

Week in Review: Week 2 {in pictures}

 

I am feeling a bit tired or lazy, or a bit of both, so our weekly wrap up will be a visual one. (don't worry, I'll throw in some captions)  Click on the button above if you want to check out how other homeschoolers spent their week.... but first check out ours...

 

 A trip to Tom Moore's jungle with friends...

 

 

Continuing a study on animals of the  Galapagos Islands...

the kids looked up the lengths of each animal and lined them up according to size

everyone enjoying this month's sensory tub

Hard at work...

Eden working on her postcard about planet Earth (from our geography curriculum)

learning all about atoms in Chemistry

Fun school 

{Celebrating Johnny Appleseed's Birthday}...

tasting different varieties of apples

apple printing

Tot school...

Extracurricular...

the makings of a tennis star!

the boys received awards for last season's participation in cricket.  Micaiah was chosen by his coaches as "Most Talented" player!

So that was a quick look at our week!  Good bye until next time!!

Mud Cakes

I read something a few days ago that I can't get out of my mind. Something that has both bothered and convicted me.

I had picked up an informational booklet about the organization Feed my Lambs, a ministry which provides housing, food and education to the impoverished in Haiti.   As I read it, I came across this:

"As soon as I arrived in Haiti I was overwhelmed by the enormous need that was all around me.  There were ladies on the side of the street mixing mud with oil and salt to bake and feed it to their families for the evening meal.  Mud cakes they called it."- Philip Rego, Founder of Feed My Lambs

I read this and my heart grew heavy. Eating MUD? No way!!  I had to Google this. Not because I doubted the credibility of the organization but because it was so unbelievable to me that I wanted to know more.  I found several reports and pictures online that provided more information.   Although most of the reports were from 2008 and 2010 directly after devastation of hurricanes and the notorious earthquake it is probably still a reality for some.

I did not consider myself naive to poverty and world hunger.   Sure,  I have seen the pictures of starving children,  I have seen begging firsthand in my mother's homeland but something about this spoke to the desperation of these mothers struggling to keep their families alive and it shook me to my core.

We are a family of six living on a single income in a country with a very high cost of living.  Over the past few years, there have been many departures of foods from my shopping cart that I once thought of as necessities. I have had to be very creative in the kitchen to make meals stretch especially when there has been more month than money.

But we have never been hungry.
                           My kids have never missed a meal.
                                                       God has always provided...
...but yet I have complained.

Complained that we couldn't afford strawberries.
                    Complained that the budget didn't allow for a new recipe I wanted to try.
                                                      Complained that we've had the same meal for a few days.

Not out loud ...but in my heart.

Wanting more.   Wanting bigger.   Wanting better.  Wanting easier....

All while mothers are feeding their children mud.

Oh God,  please forgive me.

The Empty Tomb!

I was surfing the internet the other day looking for craft ideas for Easter. I love decorating eggs and making flowers, but I wanted something that focused on the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ.  Just as we don't dwell on Santa Claus at Christmas, Easter at our house is not about the Easter bunny and chocolate eggs. When I stumbled upon this picture on this blog, I knew this was a definite project for this year.


Last week we invited over some fellow home learners and had a fun time putting together these mini resurrection gardens.  It was an opportunity to reinforce why we celebrate Easter... the resurrection of Christ, the celebration of eternal life available to those who put their trust in our risen Savior! 

Now we are just waiting for Resurrection Day (... and the grass to grow :)  What are some ways you teach your kids about Resurrection Day?  I'd love to hear your ideas.

 

For the bad days...

Sometimes I read blogs where it seems like the author never has a bad day.  Life is perfect, their kids are perfect, the are the most crafty (in the arts and crafts sense), most spiritual, there homes are immaculate, and they never lose their cool.    It is so easy for bloggers, myself included, to only document the good times, the crafts that worked, the angelic behaviours of our kids.  Sometimes we live double lives.. the blog world and the real world. 
 
So it was refreshing to read this post a couple days ago... "When Motherhood feels like Misery".  I could completely relate to the young mother who wrote it.  Yes, I am admitting that there are days that I don't want to be a mom.   There are days that I sit and try and figure out how I can run away...seriously I do.   There are days I yell way too much, days that the house is turned upside down and I have no desire to turn it right way up, days that I am so overwhelmed that I can't think straight. 

Have you been there?

Praise God we don't have to stay there... God gives us these tough times so we can learn to trust him.

There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1: 6-7 NLT

 How is God teaching me to get through tough times?
 
I need to remember to stay in the race... This is the mission God has give me... he has blessed me with these kids and given me the role of mom and the task of raising them.  The  Christian life is not a sprint, it is a marathon... a long distance race.  When I am feeling down in the dumps, the one thing my husband always asks is "have you had your quiet time?" and strongly encourages me to do so if I haven't (Husbands... did you get that?  Lead and encourage your wives... I truly appreciate Joe's spiritual leadership).    I don't know about you but for me it is very easy to slack off bible reading and prayer time when I am feeling bad or having a rough time.  I have learned though, that this is the worst thing to do.  Just like marathon running,  if you stop moving, it is hard to get going again.   Even when it feels like you are just going through the motions, go through the motions!

It was during one of these"going-through-the-motions-times"  recently that God spoke to me through His word.  I was having a bad week.. one of those "how-can-I-escape" weeks.  I felt depleted... I knew that I was doing what God wanted me to but I was not really enjoying where he had me.  

 I was studying  Psalm 51 and I came across verse 12.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 Sometimes I try to fix how I am feeling but this verse was reminding me to ask God to restore and sustain. He provides a willing spirit to sustain me.  I was meditating on this for a while and then I read on to the next verse.  King David, the psalmist wasn't asking for the restoration of joy and to be sustained by God only for his own personal satisfaction... read it...

THEN I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.

 
As I meditated on this I changed verse 13 to say this:

Then I will teach my kids your ways so that my kids will turn to you. (they are transgressors and sinners that need to be turned to God right?!) 

This was such a reminder to me of why I am doing what I am doing.. to teach my kids they ways of God so that they will turn to him.  If I keep that as my focus instead of how hard it is, I can keep going.

In addition to staying in God's word, trusting him and focusing on why I am doing what I am doing, I have learned some other ways to get through those tough motherhood days and weeks:

Know when to take a break.  Some days when things are not going well, I call it quits, I put on a dvd for the kids and give myself a time out.

Examine your  schedule.   If you are feeling frazzled, chances are you are doing too much.  I tend to have overly high expectations of what can get done in a day.  We have to learn how to manage our expectations.   Someone once told me "There are a lot of things that are good to do but not everything is BEST for you and your family."  Get in the habit of weeding out the things that are only good and ask God to help you determine what is best.

Don't compare yourself to anyone.  God has made you who you are and has a specific will for you.  We all have a different calling, different gifts, different strengths and weaknesses...and that is okay! 

Have a support system and know when to ask for and accept help.  We want to see ourselves as superwomen and try and do it all ourselves.  Society and culture have taught us that strength is in independence... I can do it by myself, I don't need anyone. We see it as a flaw to ask for help or accept it when offered. It is not strength, it is pride.  Whether it is calling a prayer partner to pray for you or asking someone to watch the kids for an hour or two so you can get away or saying yes when someone comes to visit and offers to wash your dishes... learn how to ask for and accept help.  

Motherhood is the toughest job I have ever had, it is a high calling and thankfully one I don't have to do alone and neither do you.  If you are frazzled, stressed out, not enjoying the journey call on God to restore and sustain your joy.  He is faithful to answer.


 Be blessed,
 

The PERFECT Planner

I am not a shopper.  I get very little joy from buying new clothes, shoes, jewelry, accessories but the things I am a sucker for are things like journals, notebooks, pens and planners.  I could spend hours and lots of money in a stationery store.  For me there's nothing like starting a new planner or writing on the first page of a new journal.  So when I stumbled upon erincondren.com it was love at first sight!  This company sells, amongst many other things, personalized notebooks and planners.  I have been trying to find the perfect planner  so when I saw the 2012 Life Planner, I really wanted it (I know it is February and I probably should have had something for the beginning of the year but hey, better late than never!)  I was so excited to place the order... it cost me an arm and a leg for shipping but my hubby agreed to let me splurge a bit (Thanks Babe!) 

And then I had to wait for the package to arrive.  I am not the most patient person so I obsessively checked the Fedex tracking site until it landed!

I knew the package would be delivered on Thursday and in my perfect world this is how it would go:  

The package would arrive and my lovely, well behaved children would be busy with their school work, Marcus would be napping, I would whisk the package away from the Fed ex guy (thanking him of course)  sit down with my freshly made caramel latte, put my feet up and enjoy ripping open the package.   I would spend the next ten minutes exploring my beautiful new Erin Condren 2012 Life Planner and another 30 minutes filling in all of our appointment, birthdays, soccer practices, ballet lessons...you get the picture...

This my friends is what really happened.  It was Thursday,  so that meant my father in law was over to  give music lessons to the kids.  One child who will remain unnamed had decided that today was not a good day for music lessons and then proceeded to go to their room and slam the door.  The next child was called for their lesson.   I went to deal with the door slamming stubborn child while leaving the third child to keep an eye on Marcus who was now 20 minutes late for his nap but needed to have a diaper change.  In the midst of the disciplinary session I hear "Mommy! There are 3 people at the door!" being shouted through the house.  I wondering how big this life planner is that it takes 3 people to deliver it...I know my life is busy but the planner does need to fit in my purse! I leave a "now crying, not so stubborn, sorry he slammed the door" child in room to think about his behaviour.  As I walk briskly through the kitchen towards the front door I notice that the child who was supposed to be keeping an eye on Marcus had dumped a cup full of flour on the counter and was now proceeding to sweep it everywhere with a pastry brush (did I mention I was making cookies in the midst of this all?)  Marcus was at the door, ready to greet the three people with a sagging diaper, now 30 minutes past his naptime.  My father in law has thankfully made it to the door ahead of me and  nicely let them know I would be right with them.  As I get to the door there is one Fed Ex guy and 2 ladies carrying oversized purses... yes, Jehovah's Witnesses.  Anyway I deal with the Fed ex guy first.  I have to pay customs duty for the package (it has now cost me the other arm and leg) so I ask him to excuse me while I go and get my purse.  I need to pay with a card as I never have cash... the Fed ex guy needs to borrow my phone to call in the payment... is he serious?  Has he ever tried to find a cordless phone in the middle of a chaotic household...especially one that is not ringing?!  Back to the kitchen, child with pastry brush is still sweeping away, locate phone, payment is authorized, sign the slip, accept the package.  The 2 nice ladies are still on the step  and want to give me a booklet titled "The Happy Family" or "Raising a Happy Family" or something like that... They must have seen I looked a bit frazzled! I  tell them thank you but that I probably won't read it so I won't take it.  They then ask me if I homeschool... I felt like saying "No I run a circus, can't you tell." But I didn't, we had a quick chat about homeschooling and they were on their way.  I close the door try to restore some order to the chaos, get Marcus to nap, clean up the flour, and then I crack open the box and take a peek.  My Life Planner... it looks perfect...

And opening it in the midst of chaos was a perfect reminder to me that although I may find a perfect planner,  life will still be chaotic and unexpected at times but if we keep our eyes on the Master Planner HE will give us peace!  HE  is the Perfect Planner so I pray that as I use my new planner I will remember to rely on God and trust in the perfect plans he has for me.

Psalm 119:133 The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Isaiah 26:3  You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. 

Upcycled Herb Garden

We were out for a walk on Monday morning and saw these drawers lying on the side of the road.

 I looked at the kids and said,  "We could probably use these for something!"  They helped me load them in the wagon that we were pulling Marcus in and we continued our journey, talking about what we could use them for.  By the time we arrived home, we had decided on creating a herb garden.

We immediately got to work drilling holes in the bottom for drainage.

 And then a trip to the plant nursery nearby for some potting soil and herb seedlings.  The kids enjoyed choosing which plants to purchase and we headed home with parsley, cilantro, oregano, thyme, chives and mint.

The next step was filling the drawers with potting soil.

 Even Marcus got in on the action!

Then each person took responsibility for one type of herb, carefully removing the young plants and placing them in the soil.

Finally after a good watering, we arranged our new herb boxes along with some stones we had lying around and voila! a beautiful herb garden. 

I really like how it turned out.  You know the saying....

One man's junk...

... another man's treasure!