School's in!

On Friday we finished our second week of school and we are slowly getting into a new routine. After a year of many disruptions, I am enjoying a little bit of normalcy... well, enoying it while I can any way!  Sometime in the next few weeks we will welcome baby #5 and who knows what life will look like then!

This year I have a preschooler, 1st grader, 3rd grader and 5th grader.  As you can probably imagine our days are quite busy.

We are doing things a bit differently this year. During our past four years of homeschooling we have been quite eclectic in our approach to learning, not depending on one curriculum or method of teaching, but incorporating many different resources.  The benefits of this is you can meet the individual needs and interests of the learners.  We have had a very relaxed approach to learning as I attempt to develop in each child a love for learning.  My philosophy is once they love learning you can teach them almost anything and in many cases, they will learn on their own.

The down side of this approach for me is that it is very time consuming to pull all of these resources together, especially having so many different levels to focus on.  I also have a firstborn who loves routine and structure almost to a fault. This type of learning was not really fitting in with his style.  His desire to keep on a schedule was being hindered by a mom who's ability to think beyond a day at time especially the last 4 months of the school year, was lacking (think morning sickness, no energy, watching my mom slip away... not a good combination for being an organized homeschooler!!)

But this is the beauty of homeschooling... you find what works for your child and make it happen!  This year we are making more use of specific curricula.  Micaiah's is very structured and rigorous (traditional school at home) while the rest are a little more relaxed, but most of the planning is done for me.  And so far, 2 weeks in it seems to be working.

Micaiah (Grade 5/ Primary 6) is enrolled at A Beka Academy.  Video streamed classes with text books, reading materials, and testing materials for the entire year all sent to us.  All I do for him is supervise his learning, grade his work and be available to answer questions he may have.  He is really enjoying it so far, staying on top of his assignments and taking ownership of his schedule.  He loves to check off what he has finished and he enjoys watching the classes on line. 

Eli (grade 3/ Primary 4) and Eden (grade 1/ Primary 2) are using the same curricula,  learning a lot together and enjoying it.  Even through they are 2 grade levels apart the main curriculum covers ages 6 to 8 so it is a perfect fit for us.  I do  math, spelling/ reading separately for them but the rest is worked on together.

We are using Moving Beyond the Page which is a comprehensive homeschool curriculum that covers science, social studies, and language arts. It is a unit based curriculum which encourages hands on learning, and focuses on developing critical and creative thinking.  The first 2 weeks have been a lot of fun as we are learning about communities around the world.

For math, we are using RightStart Math which uses visual, auditory, and kinesthetic approaches to teaching mathematics.  Both are using the same program but Eli is moving at a faster pace as much of it is review for him and it is new learning for Eden.  So far I like the program but I will have to do a proper review after we have used it for a few months.

We are continuing to use All About Spelling which I used in the past for Micaiah and Eli.  It is new to Eden this year and I am combining it with All About Reading for her.  Again a kinesthetic, visual and auditory approach... do you notice a theme here??  I have 2 very hands on learners that I think will thrive with these programs.  The best part for me is that there is very little planning for all of them.  Most lessons I have to simply open the teachers manual and go to it.  There are some lessons that require some advance planning like having supplies ready, gathering books from the library etc. which I think I can handle!!

It was apparent in the spring/ early summer that Marcus would need a more structured preschool program. I was going to wait until he was 4 and just continue this year with learning though guided play and lots of free play as we had been doing.  He catches on to lots by listening in on everyone's lessons so I decided to do something a little more formal with him.  I found  ABC Jesus Loves Me which is a free curriculum plan.  These past two weeks we learned about Creation, counting using "5 Little Ducks" and the sense of hearing using "Mr. Brown can Moo, Can You?"  Each week there is a different bible story, book, number, colour and letter to focus on as well as ideas for fine motor and gross motor development.  Marcus also has bible verses to learn each week and he now proudly says Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.  I'll have to post a video of him reciting it if he cooperates with me!

School's in for Mommy to... I am currently in the hardest season I have ever been in in my life but God is teaching me many lessons.  Prayerfully I'll have a good report card at the end of it all!  I will share these lessons with you in hopes that they will be an encouragement to someone else.

Lesson #1: to put my own ideas aside and be open to change.  Micaiah's program is not one I would have chosen or at first felt would fit into our style but I had to put my own agenda aside.  I depended on God to give me peace about it and he made it clear in my heart that this was the right route.

Lesson #2:  I HAVE to start each day with the LORD.  The days that I haven't tend to be disastrous.   The kids attitudes and behavours overwhelm me more on those days, I am more tired and cranky and have far less patience.  God truly sustains me. His power is always available for me... I just have to partake!

Lesson #3 I am currently reading Kingdom Woman by Tony Evans and Chrystal Evans Hurst (highly recommended).  Here is a quote that has really encouraged and kept me going over the past couple weeks.

"If you are going to live in excellence, you have to forget yesterday. Whether it was good, bad, or ugly, if it’s yesterday, you need to let it go. When you carry yesterday further than you ought to, you ruin today. If you ruin today, then you spoil tomorrow."

I will leave you with that and pray that it is an encouragement to you.  Whether you are a homeschool mom, single person, teenager, dad... whoever, it is true for you too!

Until next time,

Mud Cakes

I read something a few days ago that I can't get out of my mind. Something that has both bothered and convicted me.

I had picked up an informational booklet about the organization Feed my Lambs, a ministry which provides housing, food and education to the impoverished in Haiti.   As I read it, I came across this:

"As soon as I arrived in Haiti I was overwhelmed by the enormous need that was all around me.  There were ladies on the side of the street mixing mud with oil and salt to bake and feed it to their families for the evening meal.  Mud cakes they called it."- Philip Rego, Founder of Feed My Lambs

I read this and my heart grew heavy. Eating MUD? No way!!  I had to Google this. Not because I doubted the credibility of the organization but because it was so unbelievable to me that I wanted to know more.  I found several reports and pictures online that provided more information.   Although most of the reports were from 2008 and 2010 directly after devastation of hurricanes and the notorious earthquake it is probably still a reality for some.

I did not consider myself naive to poverty and world hunger.   Sure,  I have seen the pictures of starving children,  I have seen begging firsthand in my mother's homeland but something about this spoke to the desperation of these mothers struggling to keep their families alive and it shook me to my core.

We are a family of six living on a single income in a country with a very high cost of living.  Over the past few years, there have been many departures of foods from my shopping cart that I once thought of as necessities. I have had to be very creative in the kitchen to make meals stretch especially when there has been more month than money.

But we have never been hungry.
                           My kids have never missed a meal.
                                                       God has always provided...
...but yet I have complained.

Complained that we couldn't afford strawberries.
                    Complained that the budget didn't allow for a new recipe I wanted to try.
                                                      Complained that we've had the same meal for a few days.

Not out loud ...but in my heart.

Wanting more.   Wanting bigger.   Wanting better.  Wanting easier....

All while mothers are feeding their children mud.

Oh God,  please forgive me.

For the bad days...

Sometimes I read blogs where it seems like the author never has a bad day.  Life is perfect, their kids are perfect, the are the most crafty (in the arts and crafts sense), most spiritual, there homes are immaculate, and they never lose their cool.    It is so easy for bloggers, myself included, to only document the good times, the crafts that worked, the angelic behaviours of our kids.  Sometimes we live double lives.. the blog world and the real world. 
 
So it was refreshing to read this post a couple days ago... "When Motherhood feels like Misery".  I could completely relate to the young mother who wrote it.  Yes, I am admitting that there are days that I don't want to be a mom.   There are days that I sit and try and figure out how I can run away...seriously I do.   There are days I yell way too much, days that the house is turned upside down and I have no desire to turn it right way up, days that I am so overwhelmed that I can't think straight. 

Have you been there?

Praise God we don't have to stay there... God gives us these tough times so we can learn to trust him.

There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. 1 Peter 1: 6-7 NLT

 How is God teaching me to get through tough times?
 
I need to remember to stay in the race... This is the mission God has give me... he has blessed me with these kids and given me the role of mom and the task of raising them.  The  Christian life is not a sprint, it is a marathon... a long distance race.  When I am feeling down in the dumps, the one thing my husband always asks is "have you had your quiet time?" and strongly encourages me to do so if I haven't (Husbands... did you get that?  Lead and encourage your wives... I truly appreciate Joe's spiritual leadership).    I don't know about you but for me it is very easy to slack off bible reading and prayer time when I am feeling bad or having a rough time.  I have learned though, that this is the worst thing to do.  Just like marathon running,  if you stop moving, it is hard to get going again.   Even when it feels like you are just going through the motions, go through the motions!

It was during one of these"going-through-the-motions-times"  recently that God spoke to me through His word.  I was having a bad week.. one of those "how-can-I-escape" weeks.  I felt depleted... I knew that I was doing what God wanted me to but I was not really enjoying where he had me.  

 I was studying  Psalm 51 and I came across verse 12.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

 Sometimes I try to fix how I am feeling but this verse was reminding me to ask God to restore and sustain. He provides a willing spirit to sustain me.  I was meditating on this for a while and then I read on to the next verse.  King David, the psalmist wasn't asking for the restoration of joy and to be sustained by God only for his own personal satisfaction... read it...

THEN I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will turn back to you.

 
As I meditated on this I changed verse 13 to say this:

Then I will teach my kids your ways so that my kids will turn to you. (they are transgressors and sinners that need to be turned to God right?!) 

This was such a reminder to me of why I am doing what I am doing.. to teach my kids they ways of God so that they will turn to him.  If I keep that as my focus instead of how hard it is, I can keep going.

In addition to staying in God's word, trusting him and focusing on why I am doing what I am doing, I have learned some other ways to get through those tough motherhood days and weeks:

Know when to take a break.  Some days when things are not going well, I call it quits, I put on a dvd for the kids and give myself a time out.

Examine your  schedule.   If you are feeling frazzled, chances are you are doing too much.  I tend to have overly high expectations of what can get done in a day.  We have to learn how to manage our expectations.   Someone once told me "There are a lot of things that are good to do but not everything is BEST for you and your family."  Get in the habit of weeding out the things that are only good and ask God to help you determine what is best.

Don't compare yourself to anyone.  God has made you who you are and has a specific will for you.  We all have a different calling, different gifts, different strengths and weaknesses...and that is okay! 

Have a support system and know when to ask for and accept help.  We want to see ourselves as superwomen and try and do it all ourselves.  Society and culture have taught us that strength is in independence... I can do it by myself, I don't need anyone. We see it as a flaw to ask for help or accept it when offered. It is not strength, it is pride.  Whether it is calling a prayer partner to pray for you or asking someone to watch the kids for an hour or two so you can get away or saying yes when someone comes to visit and offers to wash your dishes... learn how to ask for and accept help.  

Motherhood is the toughest job I have ever had, it is a high calling and thankfully one I don't have to do alone and neither do you.  If you are frazzled, stressed out, not enjoying the journey call on God to restore and sustain your joy.  He is faithful to answer.


 Be blessed,
 

The PERFECT Planner

I am not a shopper.  I get very little joy from buying new clothes, shoes, jewelry, accessories but the things I am a sucker for are things like journals, notebooks, pens and planners.  I could spend hours and lots of money in a stationery store.  For me there's nothing like starting a new planner or writing on the first page of a new journal.  So when I stumbled upon erincondren.com it was love at first sight!  This company sells, amongst many other things, personalized notebooks and planners.  I have been trying to find the perfect planner  so when I saw the 2012 Life Planner, I really wanted it (I know it is February and I probably should have had something for the beginning of the year but hey, better late than never!)  I was so excited to place the order... it cost me an arm and a leg for shipping but my hubby agreed to let me splurge a bit (Thanks Babe!) 

And then I had to wait for the package to arrive.  I am not the most patient person so I obsessively checked the Fedex tracking site until it landed!

I knew the package would be delivered on Thursday and in my perfect world this is how it would go:  

The package would arrive and my lovely, well behaved children would be busy with their school work, Marcus would be napping, I would whisk the package away from the Fed ex guy (thanking him of course)  sit down with my freshly made caramel latte, put my feet up and enjoy ripping open the package.   I would spend the next ten minutes exploring my beautiful new Erin Condren 2012 Life Planner and another 30 minutes filling in all of our appointment, birthdays, soccer practices, ballet lessons...you get the picture...

This my friends is what really happened.  It was Thursday,  so that meant my father in law was over to  give music lessons to the kids.  One child who will remain unnamed had decided that today was not a good day for music lessons and then proceeded to go to their room and slam the door.  The next child was called for their lesson.   I went to deal with the door slamming stubborn child while leaving the third child to keep an eye on Marcus who was now 20 minutes late for his nap but needed to have a diaper change.  In the midst of the disciplinary session I hear "Mommy! There are 3 people at the door!" being shouted through the house.  I wondering how big this life planner is that it takes 3 people to deliver it...I know my life is busy but the planner does need to fit in my purse! I leave a "now crying, not so stubborn, sorry he slammed the door" child in room to think about his behaviour.  As I walk briskly through the kitchen towards the front door I notice that the child who was supposed to be keeping an eye on Marcus had dumped a cup full of flour on the counter and was now proceeding to sweep it everywhere with a pastry brush (did I mention I was making cookies in the midst of this all?)  Marcus was at the door, ready to greet the three people with a sagging diaper, now 30 minutes past his naptime.  My father in law has thankfully made it to the door ahead of me and  nicely let them know I would be right with them.  As I get to the door there is one Fed Ex guy and 2 ladies carrying oversized purses... yes, Jehovah's Witnesses.  Anyway I deal with the Fed ex guy first.  I have to pay customs duty for the package (it has now cost me the other arm and leg) so I ask him to excuse me while I go and get my purse.  I need to pay with a card as I never have cash... the Fed ex guy needs to borrow my phone to call in the payment... is he serious?  Has he ever tried to find a cordless phone in the middle of a chaotic household...especially one that is not ringing?!  Back to the kitchen, child with pastry brush is still sweeping away, locate phone, payment is authorized, sign the slip, accept the package.  The 2 nice ladies are still on the step  and want to give me a booklet titled "The Happy Family" or "Raising a Happy Family" or something like that... They must have seen I looked a bit frazzled! I  tell them thank you but that I probably won't read it so I won't take it.  They then ask me if I homeschool... I felt like saying "No I run a circus, can't you tell." But I didn't, we had a quick chat about homeschooling and they were on their way.  I close the door try to restore some order to the chaos, get Marcus to nap, clean up the flour, and then I crack open the box and take a peek.  My Life Planner... it looks perfect...

And opening it in the midst of chaos was a perfect reminder to me that although I may find a perfect planner,  life will still be chaotic and unexpected at times but if we keep our eyes on the Master Planner HE will give us peace!  HE  is the Perfect Planner so I pray that as I use my new planner I will remember to rely on God and trust in the perfect plans he has for me.

Psalm 119:133 The steps of a man are established by the LORD, And He delights in his way.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Isaiah 26:3  You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. 

Three Words

I heard three words at church yesterday that both convicted and inspired me.

They were not spoken in the sermon...

They were not sung in any of the hymns or special music...

They were said to me as I was leaving the sanctuary at the end of the service.

Amongst the goodbyes, nice to see you's, and the have a good week's that were being said as the congregation spilled into the hallway, one lady said to me,

"Enjoy your kids!"

She wouldn't know how much I needed to hear those three words. 

 Last week was a tough week.    Most of the week I honestly did not enjoy them.  I couldn't wait for bedtime or for Joe to come home to "rescue" me.

But it is that simple.. I need to make the decision to enjoy them.

And that is what I intend to do.

Have a great week... and if you have kids, ENJOY THEM!

Just the Girls

Last week the big boys were at camp all day so I got to hang out with Eden and Marcus. Since Marcus napped most of the morning it gave Eden and I some good mommy - daughter time. It was the most one on one time I have spent with her and I really enjoyed it. She is a fun loving, sensitive little lady who loves all things girly. Don't get me wrong, she can hang tough with her brothers but it was quite evident last week that she loves being a girl. We played with dolls, made pink strawberry playdough, built sandcastles, watched Angelina Ballerina and Veggie Tales Sweetpea Beauty and had a chance to talk to her about the difference between inner and outer beauty and what God values more.

I remember when I first knew I was carrying a baby girl... I was scared to death. I already had 2 sons so I knew what to do with boys but now God was giving me this little princess and it would be my responsibility to teach her how to be a woman... a godly woman. That still scares me! I pray each day that God will show me how to me a girl mama and I look forward to more "just for girls" times with my princess. 

The Most Beautiful Flowers

Almost every day Eli brings me flowers.

I love flowers and before this almost daily ritual I would have said my favourite flowers were tulips or roses or gerber daisies.

            But 
                my 
                     heart 
                             melts 
each time this little sweet boy comes it with fist full of dandelions,  a lone Bermudiana or some other bloom he has plucked from the lawn.  I place them in a tiny bottle in the kitchen where I can see them all day.  They usually only last the day but i can be sure to have a fresh replacement the next day.

Who would have thought that my favourite flowers would now be beautiful weeds? One of the perks of motherhood!

Oatmeal Kisses

Have you had those weeks where you feel like you are failing as a mom... you lose focus... dishes and laundry take priority over playtime and cuddles... I have been having one of those weeks.  I can think of a number of excuses why but none of that matters.  Today,  I had some much needed alone time (thank you so much, Sweetie) ... I went for a walk and listened to a pod-cast by Donna Otto of Homemakers by Choice... she shared this poem.

Oatmeal Kisses

A young mother writes: “I know you’ve written before about the empty-nest syndrome, that lonely period after the children are grown and gone. Right now I’m up to my eyeballs in laundry and muddy boots. The baby is teething; the boys are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat without him, and I fell off my diet. Lay it on me again, will you?”

OK. One of these days, you’ll shout, “Why don’t you kids grow up and act your age!” And they will. Or, “You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do . . . and don’t slam the door!” And they won’t.

You’ll straighten up the boys’ bedroom neat and tidy: bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you’ll say out loud, “Now I want it to stay this way.” And it will.

You’ll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn’t been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you’ll say, “Now, there’s a meal for company.” And you’ll eat it alone.

You’ll say, “I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?” And you’ll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms. No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps. No more clothespins under the sofa. No more playpens to arrange a room around.

No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent. No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches, rubber bands for ponytails, tight boots or wet knotted shoestrings.

Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it. No baby-sitter for New Year’s Eve. Washing only once a week. Seeing a steak that isn’t ground. Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.
No PTA meetings. No car pools. No blaring radios. No one washing her hair at 11 o’clock at night. Having your own roll of Scotch tape.

Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No giggles in the dark. No knees to heal, no responsibility.

Only a voice crying, “Why don’t you grow up?” and the silence echoing, “I did.”

- Erma Bombeck, 1969

Now I as I prepare dinner and wait for my family to come back home I am asking God to help me to regain my focus... to see these precious kids and the messes, laundry, and noise that comes with them, not as inconveniences but as precious gifts that one day will be gone.