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Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Metamorphosis of a Procrastinating Perfectionist

Over a month and I have not blogged :( I have created so many blog posts in my head but I never seem to find the time or motivation to actually sit here and blog... WHY??

I LOVE reading other peoples blogs, I LOVE the thought of having my own personal record of our adventures, I LOVE other people being able to keep up with our adventures through my blogging, I LOVE the comments left by others who have been inspired by ideas I have posted, and I LOVE the possibility of making friends through blogging....

SOOOOO... why haven't I been blogging??? I think I could come up with 1000 reasons focused on not having time to blog.. and I really don't have a lot of time, BUT I think the REAL reason is that I am a perfectionist which manifests itself in procrastination. I think I have fear that if it is not perfect than it is not worth doing... but I raise the bar for myself WAY TOO HIGH. I am afraid to fail so I don't do it at all. It has taken me 36 years to figure this out about myself but as I think back through my life and all the times I have started and not completed things that is the underlying reason.

So I am going to work on not having to do things perfectly, not setting the standard at impossible, and not comparing myself to others... not just as a blogger, but as a mother, wife, Christian... and all the other roles I find myself in. This is a work in progress... change takes time... change takes effort... change is possible through Christ...

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