Today is our 10th wedding anniversary.
I posted this message to my husband on Facebook this morning:
Amongst the congratulatory messages we received on that post was a question from one of my friends asking the secret to making it sweet. It got me thinking about how much I have learned over the past 10 years about marriage. When I think back, knowing what I know now, I was quite clueless about what makes a marriage work when I walked down the aisle. Sure we had the premarital counseling that is so important but it is one thing to know something in theory...putting it into practice is a whole other ball game!
So here is a list of 10 things I have learned over the past 10 years. Most of these things I am still learning but practice makes perfect right?!
- First and foremost, keep God at the centre of the marriage.
- My husband is always on my team. He is not my enemy...even when we don't see eye to eye.
- Honesty is always the best policy.
- If I want my spouse to be honest and openly communicate with me, I have to create/maintain the right environment for that. I have listen without judgement no matter what is being said.
- I don't always have to be right. (still working on that one :)
- Conflict is an opportunity for growth.
- Don't try to change your spouse. Pray for God to change them but pray more for God to give you the grace to accept them as they are.
- Be willing to overlook the little things... when it comes to our spouses faults or our own pet peeves, we tend to go through the dating stage with our eyes shut tight and then when we get married our eyes are wide open. It should be the other way around!
- Marriage is not 50/50. It's not even each person always giving 100% (can you really give 100% 100% of the time?) Sometimes it might be 20/80 and other times it might be 80/20. The main thing is being willing to pick up the slack when necessary.
- As much as you love your children, they do not come before your marriage. A healthy marriage will make healthy kids. Make sure your kids know that mommy and daddy are a team.