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Thursday, November 10, 2011

10 years after "I do"

Today is our 10th wedding anniversary.

I posted this message to my husband on Facebook this morning:

"I thought I loved you completely when I said "I do" but now 10 years later I see that that was just the beginning... I love you more than I could have ever imagined!"
Amongst the congratulatory messages we received on that post was a question from one of my friends asking the secret to making it sweet. It got me thinking about how much I have learned over the past 10 years about marriage. When I think back, knowing what I know now, I was quite clueless about what makes a marriage work when I walked down the aisle. Sure we had the premarital counseling that is so important but it is one thing to know something in theory...putting it into practice is a whole other ball game!

So here is a list of 10 things I have learned over the past 10 years.  Most of these things I am still learning but practice makes perfect right?! 

  1. First and foremost, keep God at the centre of the marriage.
  2. My husband is always on my team. He is not my enemy...even when we don't see eye to eye.
  3. Honesty is always the best policy.
  4. If I want my spouse to be honest and openly communicate with me, I have to create/maintain the right environment for that.  I have listen without judgement no matter what is being said.  
  5. I don't always have to be right. (still working on that one :)
  6. Conflict is an opportunity for growth.
  7. Don't try to change your spouse.  Pray for God to change them but pray more for God to give you the grace to accept them as they are.  
  8. Be willing to overlook the little things... when it comes to our spouses faults or our own pet peeves, we tend to go through the dating stage with our eyes shut tight and then when we get married our eyes are wide open.  It should be the other way around!
  9. Marriage is not 50/50.  It's not even each person always giving 100% (can you really give 100% 100% of the time?)  Sometimes it might be 20/80 and other times it might be 80/20.  The main thing is being willing to pick up the slack when necessary.
  10. As much as you love your children, they do not come before your marriage.  A healthy marriage will make healthy kids.  Make sure your kids know that mommy and daddy are a team.

So Sweetie, I look forward to learning so much more as we continue this journey together...



  1. Hi Rasheika, thank you so much for sharing this. Marriage is so beautiful when God is at the centre but its also a school where you get to learn a lot about yourself and your spouce. May God bless your marriage as you start another decade together and may He allow you to share more with other couples... sometimes we know but we tend to forget all so quickly.
    In Christ
    Mary Mutitu- Runana

  2. Hi Rusheika - Happy Anniversary to you and Joe. Your marriage has always been an inspiration to me and filled me with Hope. I particularly like no.7 and pray that God gives me the opportunity to apply that some day. My love to you and the children.

  3. I love this! Thanks for posting... it gives us inspiration <3

  4. Hello and blessings to you & Joe,
    I thank God for your marriage, it is an awesome living example of what a godly marriage is. Thank you for being a truly real inspiration in my life.

  5. My husband and I will be celebrating 12 years of marriage on the 20th of this month!

    Happy belated anniversary to you two! This is such a sweet post and a lot of great encouragement for us married folk!

    I'm Nikki from the Crew just stopping by to say "Hi!" and I'm following you now. :)


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